False Ideas of Love

Session XVIII of Love and Relationships!

Read Romans 8, then continue at your groups own pace to finish this section. Start to pray about how what we talked about can make you a changed person, so you can apply these precepts to all of your relationships!

When we accept these love myths as fact, and these pursuits as what we should undertake, we will be heading down dangerous paths in the maze, where we will only find loneliness and hurt. Such myths will block the path of quality relationships that last, especially when it comes to love and dating. They will lead you so far off the godly path that you find yourself falling off the cliffs of life and into the realm of despair and discontent. Your relationships will fall far short from what you could have had. When we have these ideas about love, from troubled sources, as a template on how we evaluate others or select a mate, we will be in as much trouble as the singers and actors who have made these statements.

These false ideas of love will also cause a fairytale mindset rather than a Biblical one, or reality-based thinking. We will think we are in love when we are actually filled with the wrong idea of love, coupled with lust, and desire. Therefore, we believe these statements are possible, feasible, and real. Actually, they will cause us to make grave mistakes, and mislead not only us, but, also, all those around us!

Still not sure? Just watch the biographies of singers, actors, and other famous people on the cable TV biography shows, or read People magazine! Many of those who have proclaimed such statements have not found it to be working out, and most have led very disappointing, and meaningless lives. With all of their wealth and fame, they have more divorces, dysfunctional relationships, and hurt than most of us regular folks. Because they jumped from one marriage to another, one relationship to another, they have never found the contentment or happiness they thought they could have from their philosophy. Rather, they have found turmoil, discontent, and hopelessness, instead. (This is from their statements-not mine!)

Wrong ideas of friendship, dating, and love will have grave consequences that can last for generations, as it affects us, the other person, and, in marriage, any children, both families, the extended families, friends, the church, and, of course, our Lord! Your choice is not just your choice, because, it does not just affect you. Therefore, be careful that you always strive to conduct yourself in the parameters of real, authentic love. In dating, choose wisely; in marriage and friendships, operate in those Godly characters, and be based on Scripture rather than on false ideas and lust!

Yes, our God is a great God of grace, and forgiveness. He will eventually work things out in your life for good (Romans 8)! But, why place yourself in strife, when you can have it so much better when you start early?

Your objective is not just to seek fulfillment or desire, but, to build relationships that last, that are impacting and real. In dating, your commission is to choose a mate with whom you can live, both with unbroken devotion to the Lord. In marriage, our task is to help facilitate His Fullness in both our life, and that of our spouse. From friendships and family to the office, our role is to be seeking Him, growing in Him, trusting in Him, and obeying Him, so our maturity and character are rooted in Him. In this way, fullness, character, and real love are working in His Kingdom, taking us on the way to good, healthy relationships, filled with love, and able to grow. This fullness will be the catalyst to enable us to go through the hard times as well as the fun times. This brings the fullness (we talked about in the first chapter), that will make your house reflect God, serve for His glory, and be an example to those around you (Joshua 24:14 -15).

Discussion Questions:

1. What are some of the precepts you can decipher from Romans 8, that apply to relationships? Consider every verse as significant!

2. We can see how wrong ideas of love and life will drastically affect your relationships. So, what can you do to have a correct, Biblical view, so your life is centered upon Christ, and not false ideas?

3. What can you start to apply, from Romans 8, to improve your love and relational life?

A question I am asked a lot in singles groups is, "What about attractiveness?" Well, if you are courting, following the Biblical principles (which we will talk about later), and are not attracted to each other (which, from over twenty years of experience, I have only seen this once or twice out of hundreds of couples), that is a sure sign that something is wrong. This idea of who we consider attractive also affects who we choose as friends, and how we relate to our co-workers. How we perceive people is significant, and if we base it on shallow things, we end up having shallow relationships!

1 Corinthians 7:32-35, gives us a picture of the magnitude and value of relationships, with love in action, both in marriage and in preparing for marriage. We need to see life as an adventure, with no time to waste (Romans 13:11-12). The central focus, paying close attention to verse 35, is not being distracted from things that are false and misleading to us; rather, we are to focus on Christ, and allow Him to provide us the motivation for godly living. His precepts must reign in us so our attention is on the right track. If not, those myths and cares of the world-including the myths of love-will overtake us, and bring us down into the world of bad decisions, that lead to bad relationships, that produce bad living.